Republican lawmaker Rick Brattin shocked his constituents when he hinted that the LGBTQ community was harboring individuals with super powers.
Brattin, also known as Missouri’s Best Dressed Rep., stated that this will not only come to a surprise to the straight and cisgendered, but to many lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer human beings who haven’t unlocked their latent superhuman capabilities. Rick Brattin added:
“I’ll admit, this is hard for me to talk about, especially with the position I am in. I discovered my abilities, which include levitation and x-ray vision, at a late age. My powers don’t start to show up until I’ve had the genitals of another straight man in and around my mouth.”
After the press conference, Brattin was seen flying away towards a nearby Bath and Body Works, where they had a buy 4, get 1 free sale on facial scrubs and loofas.
