It used to be considered innocent, playful, and not at all demeaning; a busty young blonde pulled over for speeding reveals a little extra cleavage for our hardworking justice defenders. With a blush and a nod, she gets to drive off with only a warning (and maybe a phone number). Over the past few years, police officers have been trained to uphold the law and not allow sexual gratuities serve as a get-out-of-jail-free card. As of today, this all changes.
It started with Burt Riddings, 49, an Erie County police officer. Riddings has been the victim of sexual misconduct allegations, and has been attacked and penalized for having sex with citizens while on duty, in exchange for a wide variety of violations, from dodging parking tickets to driving while under the influence.
“One lady, she was definitely very high. Probably meth. She had a young child in the back seat – it wasn’t hers,” said Riddings, in a testimony at the Town Board Meeting last Tuesday, “Said she couldn’t remember where the child came from. I said ‘this looks pretty bad,’ and asked her to put the gun down and have sex with me. Then I’d let her go and everything would be right as rain.”
Many local residents have been on the side of Riddings and the Erie County Police in general. Karen Emmings, a local resident and civilian advocate for the police stated, “Our police officers are total gentlemen. More times than not, they would be coy and not immediately [have sexual relations] with me.” she explains. “Plus, it’s usually really quick – I was speeding to get my kids to daycare on time, and I still made it with a couple minutes to spare after getting [sexually gratified].”
Fortunately, the decision today was to even the playing field, not simply allowing police officers to accept sex, sexual favors, or other physical advances as a way out of getting a ticket or being arrested for a crime. As of today, all police officers throughout Erie County are required to accept all ‘sexual gratuities’ from all citizens.
“This will allow the fair, hardworking citizens to continue doing what they do, without getting in trouble with the law, and it will keep the moral of our police force high,” Karen told reporters. “Police across this great nation have been portrayed as the bad guys and I think some good [vaginal penetration] would really help keep them focused on the law.”
The new policy goes into affect next week, and will require police to allow citizens to choose their method to provide sexual gratuity in order to dodge a ticket. County attorneys stated that this could be as simple as whipping out one’s genitals, or demanding that the officer bend over and ‘take it to the main street doughnut shop.’ This doesn’t just apply to the busty blondes – all white women, white men, and white transgendered citizens are completely covered by this new policy.
